Hey guys, I just wanted to tell you guys something, I have been experiencing Tinnitus for quite a time now, (about 5 months) and it is horrendous. I feel like my life has diminished 100% and sometimes I have had thoughts on suicide, but that wont help I wanna live life. But, it is horrible, and yes sometimes I actually got over the tinnitus and didn’t even notice it until when I had to go to sleep. But I just said "Hey,its gonna be there might as well make it your best friend" so I did, I "kinda" got over it, it didn’t bother me as much as it used to do when I first realized I have acquired tinnitus. But One day it got worse. In 4th of July, my friends invited me over, to shoots some mortars with adult supervision. This is my first time doing fireworks so I thought it would be fun, but it didn’t turn out so well, about my 6th mortar in, I accidentally but it upside down, and it blew up. I was about 10-20 feet away from the explosion, but I felt that some one (when the mortar blew up) shoved two Q-tips up in my ears and jabbed it in, and from there Im like, I totally am going to be deaf.
I went home, very depressed and just faced the fact that I just made my ears even worse, and I felt some numbness around my ears by that time. I looked up and it seemed that I perforated my ear drums, and I just started balling, knowing that my tinnitus just got 2x worse and now with probably some perforated ear drums. But, thank god with the help god has bestowed upon me to get over again, and just accept it. And about 3 weeks into the depression, I just didn’t mind my tinnitus at all, living live, still with some depression but slightly over it. Another 3 weeks pass, and Im fine, not mining nothing at all, playing Video Games, and I got my first phone! An EVO 4G, and I was very excited inside and felt relieved that I didn’t care about my diseases. Now, Im here up in my room, with my EVO next to me texting and having a great time with life again and I just decided to start shooting my half broken BB-Piston, and just wanted to see what ear would receive(detect sounds) the most, so I shot it pretty close to my ear, (4-5 inches) and my it felt like some one jabbed in some Q-tips again into my ears. I was so mad at myself, and started panicking, walking around my room, very panicked and just realizing what I have done again, to my right ear, and now Im back to depression again, the same day I got my marvelous phone and was living life how it should be and now my ear is RINGING SO DAMN LOUD, it is 4x worse and I feel like killing myself but I know I wont and wouldn’t because that’s the worse solution you can bring towards yourself and your family! So please, can you guys help me or give me some advice! Should I go to the doctor Immediately?!